So ladies! Are cheesy guys still considered lame? or are they the “new way to go” when it comes to considering what you envision your dream man to be like, or *gasp* even your future husband?
I know there has been at LEAST one time in every woman’s life that we’ve sought out the “bad boy” instead of even considering giving the typical “good guy” the time of day! Where did we, as women, develop this tendency from? This inclination honestly seems to be more of a natural born instinct to me lol. I mean, we hear this same story all the time: good girl meets bad boy, he shows her new exciting things, she falls in love, he mistreats her, they break up and she’s heart broken. Moving forward after being hurt, we tend to see the good girl leveraging her guy friends for support and for them to explain what went wrong from another guy’s point of view.
Even after all the love and support from her good ole guy friends, she still doesn’t even contemplate about them exiting the friend zone. What’s the reason why some ladies do this? Why do we totally exempt good guys or cheesy guys from being “the one” as we totally dismiss them along their journey into the unescapable friendzone? Welp, let’s discuss a couple examples that we’ve seen in the media lately. ATL raised, R&B princess Ciara marrying, Seattle Seahawks quarterback, Russel Wilson!When you think of what a cheesy guy is like, what are the qualities that pop in your head?
For me, I think of Steve Urkel. He was the KING of cheesy guys on TV in the 90s! He seemed to always try to fit in by using lingo that clearly wasn’t of his nature. Steve always walked with long, bouncy strides EVERYWHERE he went. He often sported trousers, paired with LARGE thick bifocals. Lastly, he was immediately friendzoned by Laura for her to focus on Stephon! Poor guy, I mean we were all well aware of how much Steve really loved Laura, how he admired her and how he would have given her the world if she hadn’t only looked at him as a friend. Steve was always there for Laura regardless though, I mean he had a close relationship with her family, he offered her moral advice when guys would do her wrong AND he always pursued her after getting shot down, time and TIME again!
I think we can all agree that Steve Urkel was the ultimate cheesy guy of our day and age. Now, Russel Wilson isn’t at this level of being corny whatsoever, BUT he definitely has a few of the same characteristics of our beloved Steve Urkel.
Now back to Russel, we’ve all seen the memes on social media of people comparing Russel to Future (Ciara’s ex and child’s father). The memes basically depict how she transitioned from a “hood” guy to a Christian guy. Which is totally fantastic! The transition that I mentioned isn’t too far from reality for thousands of women out there either! Ciara certainly isn’t alone! We can all think of friends or family that have gone through the same struggles and moved on to a man that treats her right. In this case, Russel Wilson has gotten a lot of scrutiny for being somewhat…cheesy.
Now the fact that he appears to treat Ciara right doesn’t make him cheesy. The thing that catapults him into the cheesy classification is just how he carries himself! He typically has a goofy smile on his face, he doesn’t have much of an “edge” to his demeanor, sometimes the clothes he wears are slightly out of style and oh let’s not ignore his response in that video that Ciara posted about the fact that they finally had sex on their wedding night (since they both remained celibate throughout their courtship).
Here’s how the conversation in the video went:
Ciara: “Soo….baby, you know what we’re doing tonight”
Russel: “From what we did last night, I’m going to do it multiple times”
Um…..LOL! This really had me laughing, like who says that? His attempt at sounding smooth just didn’t work out. Honestly, Russel can’t help but be who he is! A loving, sweet…yet cheesy dude. Now these are the attributes in MY head that make Russel come across as kinda corny. But OTHERS have commented and think he’s cheesy because of his strong relationship with God and the fact he decided to honor Ciara by removing sex from the relationship until they were married. A lot of people believe it “doesn’t take all that” or “he’s soft because of how he talks about God”. I personally don’t think either of the two reasons that people have stated make him cheesy in my book.
These types of characteristics are to be respected and praised. There aren’t too many men, let alone people in general, who hold themselves or their significant others to this standard. His vow to Ciara makes him honorable in my eyes; also ultimately just the fact that he was able to keep his promise to her makes him honorable as well. However, like I mentioned before, this level of self-discipline and honor for God is pretty unnecessary and cheesy in others’ eyes.
With all of this being said, what is the primary reason why cheesy guys have historically been ignored and looked over? Maybe it’s because of the chase that comes with the bad boy that makes the experience exhilarating. Maybe it’s the predictability of the good guy that turns the good girl off. I mean what do you ladies think? I’m honestly curious! Why do some women ultimately overlook the good guy that will give them the world or more? Guys’ input would be interesting to hear as well!
At the end of the day, I believe it’s ultimately a phase for some women. I think takes time, maturity and a true evaluation of the standards you set- not to mention addressing the qualities you desire in a mate for women to let go of the bad boys for good. I think when you get to a place in your life where you’re no longer desiring to casually date or interest in entertaining a magnitude of different people, you naturally began to become more attracted to the people you’ve once only looked at as a friend and less attracted to the “bad boys” as someone who could be YOUR man.
As lame or cheesy as Russel Wilson may seem, he sure seems to be a great man to Ciara and seems to truly love her. From the outside looking in, he seems to fully know her and fully accept her. If you ask me, that’s a huge goal for most people in life, I mean some people never find in an entire lifetime. So with that being said, you better go Ciara! We see ya girl!
Until next time,